the answer to prayer, the babies, our life - an update

Oh.....what a month!!!!  Are we really at the end of January???????  Shouldn't time go slower when you are sleeping away FEWER hours in each day???????  Hmmmmm.........

Well, anyway - it's been a month of SO many things.  The most amazing of which right now is that our great God has answered our prayers in such a mighty way by bringing home our friends Russ & Anita's two little kiddos they are adopting from Haiti!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It was just a 10 days ago we started praying to bring these kids home and can you believe that God opened ALL the doors and they are now safely home with their new family!  Anyone familiar with American & other government bureaucracies can tell you this is a true miracle that the governements acted so quickly to get them to Oregon.  We went to the airport last night to welcome them home and it was an awesome sight to see this now family of six come together forever.  Here is a picture of their darling new children.

Phew.  So incredible.

And life around the Andersen home has been wild, wooly and wonderful.  Zuri & Zinea are doing great.....growing a lot already and FINALLY off of Ethiopia time.  We've been going about a week and 1/2 with a schedule which has kept me sane.  Those first few weeks were nuts.  They were wonderful and fun, in a twisted sort of way.  But, they were also lacking in much real sleep, structure, full of doctor appointments, medications, constant blowouts, bottles at least every three hours and some new anxieties.  Both girls are real happy little babies, spending much of their awake time smiling and chattering and providing much entertainment to Michael, me, Emma & Jake.  But, during a few of the inbetween times (either day or night), Zuri would scream and be completely inconsolable, to the point where all we could do is hold her tightly to keep her body from flailing until she was tired out.  The few times this happened, it only lasted 10-15 minutes at the most, but felt like an eternity.  Her sweet little eyes would just become vacant, in a way, like she was scared to her core and her little soul disappeared from her face for the moment.  Zinea has not done this once......and so we are learning that Zuri is MUCH more sensitive to all that is going on around her throughout the day since these few episodes followed busier more stimulating days of seeing other people or being out and about.  I always walk away from these episodes feeling sad and worried for her and hoping that we are doing everything "right."  How can you tell when they are only 5 months old?????

Well, besides that, we are seeing them come out of their shells a lot!!  Zuri has taken to laughing with the zaniest little giggle, espeically at Jake & Emma, who will do just about anything to make the babies laugh and smile.  Zinea says, "da da" ALL day long - waking up, going to bed and many of the hours inbetween.  It's super cute.  They are getting much stronger - Zuri already rolling from front to back and both are sitting on their own for short periods of time, jumping with their legs in the jumparoo - all things they were totally unable to do before coming home.  We also started them on food & cereal (really out of desperation to have them sleep longer than 3 hours at a time at night) and it's going good.  Zuri will straight up refuse to eat certain veggis which is downright comical to watch. 

And speaking of sleep, it's going AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!  The girls go to bed by 7pm (totally whipped) and sleep until 5:30am when they want a bottle.  After the bottle, they go down again until 7/7:30am!!!!!!  Once, maybe twice, during the night they will stir and we have to walk in and pat them on the back or maybe rock for 10 minutes or so, but no bottles and no awake babies.  Thank you God.  During those first few weeks, they would be awake from 1am to 5am and cat nap all day long.  Daytime naps, however, are something I still don't have nailed down.  Mornings are completely random.  They will only nap in the morning long enough for me to pee, make a cup of coffee and then go get them up again.  Crazy.  Afternoon naps are longer - maybe 1 1/2 to 2 hours - but I NEVER know when they will want to go down.  Sometimes 11am, sometimes 1pm, sometimes 3pm.......AHHHHHH!!!  It's like that old tv game show, "Press Your Luck."  Putting them down for their nap, I'm just thinking, "NO WHAMMIES!  NO WHAMMIES!!"  (sorry - that won't make no sense to you if you never saw the show).  I say this because if they are not ready to sleep, Zuri especially will completely freak out.  Soooooo, we're counting the night sleep a success and writing off the day sleep until later days.  You win some, you lose some.

And how are we REALLY doing??  Pretty good, I think.  I don't know how it could be much better!  There have been a few hard days, so please don't get me wrong.  But overall, our days here are good days.  In thinking about it, some of the blessings are: 

**Emma & Jake have been awesome - not a single issue.  They wake up and go to sleep every day smothering the babies will love and attention and no attitude issues whatsoever.  They have exceeded ALL my expectations as a big brother & big sister.

**The babies seem to be bonding.....although, in all honesty, I'm still not sure how to really tell.  But, they smile at us all the time, they are cuddly, we can console them, they SEEM to know us, they SEEM happy.  I'm feeling good about it, anyway.

**We are SLEEPING again, for most of the nights.

**Life is beginning to feel like a new kind of normal

But, some of the challenges we've had are:

**I've had a few days I want to die I'm so exhausted.  On those days, I've asked Michael to get me a pill to knock me out for the next 12-18 months, but each time he's refused.

**The crying jags with Zuri.  They just downright scare me a little & I sometimes feel like we go backwards in our bonding because of them.  There is nothing to support that, it just feels like that because she is SO sad.

**We suck at the cacooning thing.  I cannot, just cannot, be home all the time....not unless I plan to be committed to a mental institution.  So, we've been out a lot, seen a good # of people and broken about 1/2 the post-placement recommendations given to us by AGCI.  We've tried - really we have.  We don't let anyone feed, change, console or put the babies to sleep.  But, we have let people hold the babies.  We had a great shower with family & friends.  We went to church.  We went to my work.  We go shopping.  We've visited friends/family's homes.  I do walk away sometimes from an outing wondering if I'm damaging the babies or hindering the bonding & attachment.  I don't like the way that feels & there is no way to find out except over time.

**Being in public feels like a spectacle.  It sure feels like most people are staring at us at one point or another when we are out.  It's all "nice" looks, but please..........I just don't feel like being looked at all the time.  I feel like we've lost some of our anonimity when we're out and about.  We went to Subway on Sunday for lunch during a walk & I could barely eat my sandwich we were stopped and talked to about the babies so much.  Does this bother Emma & Jake?  I don't know.  I don't want them to think the whole world is about their sisters.  One more thing to think about.........

**Feeling like I have enough time to give all the kids.  I knew this would be a challenge with four children, but we're still in the middle of finding that balance right now.

**I'm still trying to reconcile our kooshy, comfortable and safe life here at home with the poverty, sickness and reality of life in Ethiopia.  I don't want to sink back into my bubble.  I don't want to judge others for living in theirs.  There is a conflict within me.  One of my best friends told me that we're becoming disturbed women.  She's right.  At times I feel really disturbed & not sure what God's wanting me to do about it.

Soooooo, that's our life in a nutshell right now.  I could write much more, but who has time to read all this?  I've already rambled on long enough.  Time for a few pics of the last 3 weeks.

Our 3rd night home watching a cartoon in mommy & daddy's bed

Zuri & Zinea's first walk in the stroller.  They look freaked out, but actually they seem to LOVE being outside.  We're so thankful - we've been on a lot of walks lately.

Our case manager Julie.  She got to meet the girls during our first week home.

The beautiful table at our baby shower put on by our amazing friends Jen, Chelsey & Annie.

Emma's first ever basketball season has started - her team is the Cougars.  She's doing a great job learning the basics.  No surprise - she loves it!

The girls hangin' in the bumbos.  This is a common hangout spot while we get meals ready in the kitchen.

Our 1/2 marathon group.  We've been training together for the last 17 weeks & we ran the race last Sunday.  We all finished successfully!  I even ended up in the local paper the next day with a picture of me holding the girls after crossing the finish line.  The girls have already made the news!!  :-)

I had to post a picture of Emma holding her "little Emma."  Emma insists we are a family of 7, counting little Emma of course.  This American girl doll has not left Emma's side since getting her for Christmas.

Our four babies.  Oh gosh......I feel undeservedly blessed.

My plan is to start posting my Ethiopia journal entries with some Ethiopia pics after this.  Hope I can find a few free moments to do that in the next couple days.  Love to you all.